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Common interests can even be the foundation for a relationship.
But most importantly, indulge your interests for your own sake.
But amid the thrill of family weddings, my mom kept a level head, knowing that her life and love story would unfold in their own timing: “Frankly, all but one of [my sisters] married pretty young,” my mom says. I had a chance to teach and travel and experience life a bit.”Rather than wallowing in jealousy, my mom chose to be happy for friends and relatives who had found love.
The woman who can’t be happy for others will not be happy with herself.
When thoughts about being forever alone slink into my mind, my mom’s lessons on singleness keep me grounded. And there’s some truth to the adage that “Mother knows best.”While she would never call herself an expert on love or singleness, marrying for the first time in her mid-thirties gave my mom time to cultivate some serious single-woman wisdom.
My mom never let singlehood make her bitter; she let it make her better.
Among its many perks, single life allows us to explore our interests and passions, wherever they lead us.
She enrolled in an art history class where she discovered one of her greatest loves, the Impressionism art movement. Her suggestion to women who wonder where all of the good guys are: Rely on friends and relatives for introductions.When single, my mom prioritized time with her family, never missing weekly Sunday gatherings.Before my mom had children of her own, she served as a second mother to her many nieces and nephews.Late one night, a woman looked out of her apartment window with the unsettling feeling that the rest of her life would be spent alone. But after setups and short-lived relationships, she felt like she had run dry of potential men to date, much less marry. In this moment of despair, it felt like the chance to fulfill her deepest desires had escaped her.This woman was my mom many years ago, although it sounds a lot like me.We hear that our single years should be our “selfish” years, but there’s a problem with too much “me time.” In the end, living for ourselves first and foremost can bring more loneliness than fulfillment.