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Instead, they’re looking for someone to share life with as equals and to appreciate independently of themselves.

Having broken ties to old identities and patterns, this person is much more available to a romantic partner and the new family that they create together.

December 31 may be all about the New Year’s kiss, but by New Year’s Day, most people are thinking about what comes after the kiss.

This can be a good metaphor for our dating habits in general.

Many of these qualities won’t be apparent to us when we first meet someone, but as we get to know the people we date, these are invaluable traits to both look for in them and to strive for in ourselves. Maturity This statement is not meant to echo the ever-advised mantra that maturity is important.

Being “grown up” isn’t merely a matter of not acting like a kid anymore.

They are respectful of their partner’s distinct personal boundaries, while at the same time remaining close physically and emotionally.

This goes for all levels of communication, both verbal and nonverbal.

Ideal partners treat each other with respect and sensitivity.

They do not try to control each other with threatening or manipulative behavior.

The reasons we fall in love may be a mystery, but the reasons we stay in love are far less elusive.

That is why this New Year I propose making a few resolutions about what we look for in a romantic relationship.

When someone is free-thinking and open-minded, it enables them to be forthright in expressing feelings, thoughts, dreams and desires, which allows you to truly know them.

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