Dating my boyfriend
Holding tension in can lead to misunderstandings later on, so airing out concerns immediately may improve the prospects of your relationship.
It's okay to not want to hear about every single detail of your partner's previous sex or love life—when you're really digging someone, you probably don't want to imagine their hand holding someone else's!
"Honestly, it made the experience weirdly thrilling, and never once was I expected to lead, which, as a (lazy) girl trying to learn the ropes, didn't bother me in the slightest." That being said, not everyone enjoys playing the passive role, and who can blame them?
If you're feeling overpowered by your partner's extra experience, speak up.
But that didn't stop her from worrying about dating her much-older boyfriend Evan*.
"Because Evan* had nearly double the life experience I had, I was afraid that me being sexually inexperienced would be a huge turn off for him and send him running.
Will your partner be disappointed when they find out? Whether we like it or not, inexperience can come with a stigma.
"My first boyfriend was much more experienced than me, and it caused a bunch of mixed feelings," says Hannah*, a sophomore at the University of Alabama.
"However, I quickly learned that if the person is right for you, they won't care about your number, how much experience you've had in the past, or anything like that." But for her, putting everything on the table from the get-go was a relief.
"While a lot of couples are afraid to talk about sex and experience at the beginning, I [find] it better to just get those conversations out of the way [so that] everyone is on the same page—it makes things so much easier in the long term, and you'll have a much stronger foundation to build off of." The take-away?
Again, it's important to let your partner know if a conversation about their past is making you feel uncomfortable. As it turns out, almost everyone has an awkward sex story to share, whether they were a newbie at the time or not.
Just explain to them why, and ask if they would mind cutting back on similar conversations in the future. Sex in itself is an awkward process, and nothing like the movies (trust us). Being butterfly-filled with new-relationship nerves is one thing.Think of it this way: bragging leads to bitterness, and comparison can cause feelings of inadequacy—two emotions no relationship needs.