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If you're the partner of someone with ADHD, it's crucial that you also support their treatment program and educate yourself about the disorder.
"If you refuse to believe ADHD is real or view it as lifestyle choice or laziness, you are being very condescending — and if the person with ADHD starts to buy it too, they can become demoralized," Barkley says.
This attitude could discourage someone with ADHD from getting treatment that could change their life and turn a relationship around. And because people with ADHD tend to thrive with novelty and spontaneity, this part of the relationship can seem effortless.
"What you'll often see in the beginning is an engaging, dynamic, carefree, risk-taking individual.
"It's often not that the person with ADHD doesn’t care, but it's just very difficult for them to sustain attention — it's like pulling a muscle to keep listening," Ramsay says.The first few weeks or months of dating someone with ADHD can be very fun," Barkley says.On the flipside, some symptoms of ADHD, such as forgetfulness and inattention, could be mistaken as a lack of interest in the beginning — which could put off potential partners.There's no magic cure for ADHD, but the right treatment can help reduce core symptoms and the issues they cause in a relationship so they're easier to work through."If you have ADHD, you need to find the right treatment (whether that's medication or another therapy), be willing to stick with it, and find accommodations so your environment is more conducive to your productivity," Barkley says. It's about managing the disorder effectively both inside and outside of the relationship for life.Then suddenly, they might forget about a date or show up late to for an important event.